


Smelly Cat

by 2edge4u



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, don't lie, everyone does it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 01:10:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5437886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2edge4u/pseuds/2edge4u
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura and Carmilla are spending a lazy Saturday in bed when something unexpected and embarrassing happens. Can their relationship withstand it? Will Carmilla ever get over it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smelly Cat

**Author's Note:**

> So, I misread one of youredoingitforjesus's texts and came up with this idea. I hope you all find it as funny as I do. I am an actual child.

It’s the first Saturday in weeks you haven’t had to attend some sort of study group so Carm practically begged you to stay in bed with her all day and watch movies. She’s even letting you pick which films you watch because she really doesn’t care about them, she just wants you to herself all day which is most definitely not a problem. You’re surviving on a strict diet of peanut butter, snack cakes and grape soda. Carm is sticking to her usual B positive, but occasionally sneaks a bite of your cakes in between kisses.

“I just don’t understand why Jenna doesn’t get her squad together and just kick Earl’s ass. I mean, he is terrible to her. Dr. Pomegranate or whatever his name is treats her like she deserves she should be with him!” Carm says, flailing her hands around to help make her point.

“Earl is seriously the worst, but Jenna’s scared of him. He’s so abusive and she just wants to save up enough money to get away without being hurt.”

“Oooh, if Jenna were my friend I would have drank Earl like a slurpee on a hot day a long time ago. He would be so dead.”

“Oh my god, seriously? That’s so gross!” you squeal.

“Well, I am a big, bad, vampire so it’s to be expected.”

“Please, you’re a big softy.”

“Maybe to you, but you better not tell anyone. I am the night.”

“Sure you are, Carm. I’m gonna get another drink. You want anything?”

“I’m fine, just hurry back. I’m cold.”

You roll off the bed and walk over to the front of the dorm to get another soda from the fridge. Glancing back at Carm you can’t help but giggle at how she’s stretching. She is so much like a cat, even in her human form and it’s adorable. Suddenly you hear something so unexpected, you freeze right where you stand. You can’t believe it just happened. You want to laugh, but you know she’ll be mortified so you slowly turn your head back toward her to gauge her reaction.

She’s staring at you, eyes wide, jaw dropped and you just know she’s ready to die (if she could). You have no idea what to say because you’ve never been in this position before. You’ve never been in a serious enough relationship to have to worry about the formalities of this kind of situation. Should you acknowledge it? Should you pretend it never happened? I mean, it’s just a fart and it happens to everyone. Literally everyone farts, immortal or not.

Neither one of you has said anything for a good minute and it’s starting to get more and more uncomfortable with each passing second. Whatever. The two of you are in love and this is one of many hurdles you’re going to have to jump over to make this relationship go the distance.

“Did you just?” you ask.

“Oh my god,” she says and runs to the bathroom with vampire speed and slams the door before you can even blink.

You take a moment to literally double over in silent laughter. Taking a second to dry the tears from your eyes you go over to the bathroom door, listening for any sign that she hasn’t disappeared in a cloud of smoke to get as far away from you as possible.

Hearing nothing, you lean closer to the door still trying to not laugh when you say “Carm, it’s ok. I don’t think any less of you. It’s just a-“

“Don’t even say it, Laura!” she screams from the other side of the door.

“Come on, I do it too! Everyone does!”

It almost sounds like she turned the faucet on for a second but “oh my god, did you just hiss at me?!”

She hisses again.

“Carmilla Karnstein don’t you hiss at me! So what? You farted! No big deal! I will literally fart right now to get past this childish embarrassment and get you to come out of there.”

“Don’t you dare!” she wails.

“I swear I’ll do it!” you yell back.

“You’ve got ten seconds to come out of there before I do it!”

“Uh frosh, I hate to interrupt whatever is happening in here, but I just came to see if you’re done with my Chem book…” LaF says from the doorway.

“Jesus Christ, no! Get out of here!” Carm yells from the safety of the bathroom.

“Aww, come on Karnstein. I fart too. All the time actually. Just ask, Perr. Sometimes I do it just to get a rise out of her because the scrunched up face she makes every time is priceless. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Besides, if Laura’s still with you after all the evil vampire things you’ve done, a stupid little fart isn’t going to scare her away. Anyway, can I get my book so I can leave you two to deal with… this?” LaF says.

You quickly hand LaF their book and mouth a silent thank you before ushering them out and closing the door.

“Carm, they’re gone. Will you please come out here now?”

You wait a moment, thinking that she might actually spend all night in there when the door slowly opens. She doesn’t come out so you start to open it further. She’s sitting in the corner by the shower, sulking like a kid who just dropped their ice cream. You go and sit next to her, nudging her shoulder and finally getting a small smile out of her.

“Seriously, it’s ok. You’re still beautiful, smart, sexy and so many other things. I am in no way judging you and I still love you,” you say and look in her eyes.

She leans over to kiss you softly and you can literally feel her body relax.

“Even if you smell,” you say and smile against her lips.

“Oh my god.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hahahahahahahahaha not even sorry byeeeeeee


End file.
